Things that make me want to quit the internet

Husband shaming. I get it. You’re just trying to be funny. You’re venting. But you chose the man. No one forced you. Your online whining about him says more about you than him. Chances are he’s not the oof that you’re making him out to be and you really love him. But if you’re baiting people with funny headlines just to get clicks and this is all you write, then how do people know what to believe?

Kid shaming. You chose to be a parent. If they’re brats, it’s because you made them that way. Children come out of the womb innocent and pure. Everything they know is learned behavior. How to behave (or not), how to love, how to apologize (or not), how to follow rules (or not), how to act in restaurants (or not). Maybe they’re acting out because they want your time and attention…? Although the fast pace of current society would have us believe that nothing lasts forever, we all know that’s not true. Your blog will live forever. What if your kid sees what you wrote? How will you explain that you threw them under the bus to get some laughs?

People who treat their pets better than their kids. 

People who treat their pets like their kids. No. Just no.

Non-parents who offer parenting advice. Feel free to continue to talk about us behind our backs, but unless you’ve walked a mile in these parenting shoes, please keep your tips to yourself. And suggesting sterilization isn’t cute or funny. It’s crass and offensive.

Woman-on-woman shaming. 

People who write drivel about introverts being shy and awkward. Nope. It’s energy. Introverts are energized by the inner world of thoughts and ideas and find most small talk a waste of time. We’re not shy. We’re not awkward. We’re just different. Please move on.

Life hacks. If it were really that big of a life hack, someone would’ve figured it out already. And why is everything a shortcut? Shit doesn’t just happen. Thou shalt hustle.

Posts telling me how to feel. “Just try to not lose it when this celebrity gets married for the fifth time. You’ll bawl your eyes out!” Um, no I won’t. I’ve bawled my eyes out. It was not over a celebrity nor will it ever be.

National (insert stupid food here) day! If every day is special, then nothing is special. If everything is a crisis then nothing is a crisis. Can we all just chill the hell out?

Ads telling me I need to lose weight.

Ads selling me products to help me lose weight.

Grammatical errors.

Typos. Spellcheck, people. Learn it, know it, use it!

ALL THE CAPS! The exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The emojis (didn’t they used to be emoticons?). Enough already.

Trolls.

Racism.

Misogyny.

Whiners. Whoops.

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