Every year I worry about the lilacs at my house.

And, every year I am wrong to worry.

They bloom later than all the others in our neighborhood. Ours are just now ending, while many others stopped blooming weeks ago.

When I’m driving around, I see the other lilacs and get nervous. My runaway thinking goes like this:

🌼Why are theirs already blooming?
🌼Did the owner prune them? Or fertilize?
🌼Why aren’t my lilacs blooming yet?
🌼What did I do wrong?
🌼I am the worst homeowner ever.

You’d think after 14 years (years!) in this house I’d remember that our lilacs bloom later.

And yet, every spring I get in my own head, which really means in my own way, and worry unnecessarily.

I see this often with clients trying to change careers.

They compare their journeys to others’. 🤦‍♀️

They see others progressing faster and start to doubt themselves.

Which is really to say that they compare their daily struggles to everyone else’s social media highlight reel. 🙄

They get jealous when they perceive that others have “landed” and they haven’t.

They start to doubt their own course and then self-sabotage by falling into old, unproductive, habits.

We all do this!

There is nothing wrong with my lilacs. They have their own timeline. They will not be rushed or pushed.

And, there is 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 wrong with you.

Changing careers, job searching, writing resumes, networking- this is WORK. Hard work.

Just because it’s taking a “long” time doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

Take a break. Give yourself a break.

Let nature remind you about patterns and timing.

It seems that lately much of the “advice” across social media platforms, is actually shame dressed up in click bait. 🙄

There’s usually some influencer looking at the camera (too closely) and then wagging their finger at you telling you how wrong you are.

WHAT? YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THIS HACK??? LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH OF AN IDIOT YOU ARE.

I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t motivate me to want to change. Nor does it make me trust that person. In fact, the opposite usually happens.

Life is HARD. Parenting is HARD.

Job searching is HARD. Job searching is a FULL-TIME JOB, on top of the jobs you already have.

And just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. And it doesn’t mean that YOU are wrong. Good things worth doing, and worth doing well, are hard.

Maybe there are things you didn’t know before and that you could try practicing (isn’t that such a great word? Practice. Full of grace and possibility.)

☑️Resting
☑️Eating well
☑️Moving your body
☑️Updating your LinkedIn profile and using it to network
☑️Casting a smaller, more targeted job search net
☑️Practicing your interview answers
☑️Editing your resume to make sure it’s focused on accomplishments, not tasks

Please stop following people who make you feel bad and start following people who make you feel supported.

This is hard enough without creating more work for yourself.