Dear Heather,

Happy Birthday! I am thrilled and grateful to be here celebrating YOU!

I think you know that I stalked you on Facebook before you moved to Michigan. 🙂 I was so excited- and I will admit a little desperate- at the the possibility of a working mom friend in the area. Meeting people in suburbia can be very hard!

I was very nervous to meet you, though. Terrified actually. What if you hated me? What if our boys didn’t get along? You seemed (and are) very bright, energetic, kind, and very very involved in ACPA and our profession. So, I was a little afraid that I could not live up to your professional standards. Turns out you have no standards since we are now friends! Ha, ha!

I made up a picture of you in my mind. How I thought you would talk, the issues that you would care about, the way that you would look at me. I thought you would judge me. Because, isn’t that what women do sometimes? Most of the time? I don’t care about feminism, higher education, or professional organizations nearly the way you do. Turns out all of that was made up in my head. You have accepted me for who I am. You are passionate about things without forcing your views on others or making them feel like they must care about them the way you do. I think that is my favorite thing about you. Well that, and one time when I was over at your house I saw toaster crumbs on your counter and I was like, “Yes! She’s like MEEEEE!”

I remember meeting you in person for the first time. You, Ray and the boys were waiting for me and my boys at Patriarche Park. You were sitting on a bench. I remember being relieved that you were wearing jean shorts and Tevas. I remember our boys taking off immediately to go play. They played all afternoon. We wandered all over the park and at one point you taught my boys how to play horseshoes- horseshoes that you brought with you. Because, you are that kind of person. First, you own horseshoes and then you think to bring them to a play date because your new friends might want to learn how to throw them, too. Then, we all went to the MSU Dairy Store. It was the longest first playdate in history and it was great!

From that first meeting on we have connected and shared stories about motherhood, mothering boys, being wives and partners, and working mothers in higher education. I have truly treasured those conversations and am grateful for your thoughtfulness and your selfless friendship. I am thrilled beyond measure to call you friend and I look forward to many more happy years.

The attached picture is from when you and Kelley drove all the way to Detroit to support me in Listen to Your Mother. Thank you for that. It meant so much to me that you were there in the audience that afternoon. Actually, you watched the boys for me so I could go to the first rehearsal, so you were in my corner from the very beginning. And, that is just like you, too. You are loyal, kind, generous, and giving. Thank you for being my new friend.

Cheers to 40! Can’t wait to see where the years take us.

Love,

Monica