student affairs

Upgrade

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The last few weeks have been hard for me professionally. I have been up to my eyeballs, literally, in paperwork. The next round of applications for one of the programs that I advise were due December 15. We’re kicking it old school, so the apps are still paper files that need to be manually processed. By moi. So, I’ve been a little cranky lately. And jealous of friends who are already on vacation. And, whiny. I hate whiners. Those paper files are standing between me and my Christmas vacation. I have been trying to knock them out so I can have December 24th and 25th completely distraction-free. Then, it’s off to the motherland on December 27th!

Every day that I process admissions applications, I have an internal battle with myself. Two-thirds of the applicants will not be admitted to the program. That’s hard because I am sure that many of them would make fabulous nurses. As a feeler, it’s hard to know that in three weeks some of these candidates will get a rejection letter. That I also get to process.

Then, there are the apps that are messy, incomplete, or just flat out wrong. And I think to myself, “What?! This is an academic program. Best foot forward people! No white-out, no scribbles! What kind of nurse are you going to be if you can’t even fill out the application right?” Internal battles.

I think my age is showing, but that’s another post altogether.

I took my current position because I wanted to stop commuting three hours a day, to be back at MSU, and I secretly wanted to work with nurses. Nurses will always have soft spot in my heart. Nurses saved our family. They lovingly cared for L during his treatment. They taught us how to care for him at home and they cared for us. So, even though my current professional position was a professional downgrade, on many, many levels it has been a huge personal upgrade.

But, processing applications and number crunching haven’t felt like much of an upgrade lately.

And then, ten minutes ago, I got a text message from one of my students. My favorite student. She told me that she has been offered an interview with one of the most prestigious children’s hospitals in the country. It is a summer internship experience that I pushed her to apply for. There is something about her. She is an incredibly diligent person with a kind heart and a strong mind. She is a great decision maker. She will make an excellent nurse. And, she would be an awesome pediatric nurse.

In mere seconds, I go from wallowing in my wine because I still have two full days of work ahead of me and 25 apps to process, to beaming with pride for and with one of my students.

Dear student,

I am so proud of you! You are going to rock that interview and no matter what happens, to even be asked to interview at that facility is a huge, huge accomplishment. Thank you for taking the time out of your vacation to send me that text. I am so grateful to you. I am grateful for you. You made my day.

My week.

My month.

Definite upgrade.

Beginnings

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The day before Thanksgiving my husband and I were able to visit the institution where we each got our start in student affairs and where we met and fell in love. The trip provided an opportunity to reflect on all we have been through, professionally and personally.

Residence life at a small, private institution was a great place to start my professional career. It was my first time supervising. I learned how to physically manage a new-construction building and all its idiosyncrasies. I served as a judicial hearing officer for the most “active” residence hall on campus and thus, had the largest caseload of all my colleagues. As a young and energetic professional, I also volunteered for any and all assignments that would give me experiences and skills outside of my functional area. As such, I advised funding board and several student organizations. I can budget with the best of them. Because of these experiences I was able to transition to student activities| leadership when I moved to my second professional position. For three years, I worked long and hard hours. I said yes, a lot. I created new programs and events and I took risks.

In the span of a career, three years isn’t that much. But it’s not nothing. Visiting the institution where I got my start reminded me of all of these things. It was wonderful to visit with colleagues and mentors and to chat with the VP| Dean who saw something in me and offered me that first job. I think too often in my work, I am so focused on the next step, the next move, that I underestimate what it took to get where I am today. I would guess that I am not alone in this. Life’s messages seem to be telling us that more is better, that to strive for something different or higher or more prestigious is “the” way to be. It is good to have goals. But, in working towards those goals, I think it’s important to take the time to reflect on where I’ve been.

Nice to meet you! Name tags & lanyards from a career well-lived

Nice to meet you! Name tags & lanyards from a career well-lived

We all have beginnings. I am grateful that my beginning in this profession was a good one. I look back at that time fondly and with gratitude. I would love to hear about your beginnings. Where did you start? How has that position shaped who you are today?

In the second year of my first professional job I fell in love with a coworker. We worked together, we were both Catholic, and he made me laugh. He still makes me laugh. Every day. Since that first date in September of 2000, we’ve been through a lot. More than most couples our age. We dated for two years while under the microscope of a full-time, live-in position. We survived a long-distance engagement and job search process. We have survived eight job changes, graduate school, unemployment, and parenthood. We shepherded our son through a major health crisis, all while staying married and keeping our younger son healthy and normal.

When we began though, we were young, excited, and full of hope. When you think about it, really, we knew very little about each other. I think this is the case for most people. In the span of a married life, there is no way to predict what will come your way. I certainly never thought that I would mother a child through cancer. The only thing that indicates future behavior is past behavior. I think we are lucky and grateful that our past, our beginning, was a good one. We are loyal, honest and we like being with each other. That’s how we started and that is what we keep working for now.

Driving through the small town where we shopped for a coffee table (that we still have), had our first kiss, first fight, first jobs, first everything reminded me of our sweet beginning.

Hope College, Holland MI

Hope College, Holland MI

Don’t fear the feedback

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On Wednesday night I presented an information session for one of the academic programs that I advise. In attendance at the session was a woman I knew from a previous role. I was perplexed by this as I work in Nursing and she has a Master’s degree in Student Affairs from a well-known and highly reputable program. Nursing would be a big career change. Why was she there?

We chatted a for a bit after the session. She told me that she is unemployed and has been actively searching for almost two years. She is starting to question her choice of graduate school degree and future professional life. My heart aches for her. Like many, I have been unemployed and I remember well the levels of frustration, anxiety, and sometimes even the sense of desperation that can come with the search. I remember feeling as if the interviewer could smell my desperation when I walked into the room. As a candidate, the deck is stacked against you. There are more of you than there are positions open. In many cases, candidates are given little, if any, feedback about their status in a search. And, candidates are given even less feedback about their performance while in the search.

This woman is smart, kind, capable, honest, and committed. I do not know all the details of why she is not being offered positions. Maybe she doesn’t interview well. Maybe she is under/over qualified. Maybe she doesn’t write well. I have offered to meet with her and do some career coaching. I hope to help her in whatever way I can.

Ever since then, I have been thinking about feedback in the student affairs job search process. I asked her if she had asked for feedback and what, if any, she got. To her credit, she has called past interviewers and asked for feedback. That takes guts. To even ask that question takes courage. To actively listen to what someone has to say takes even more courage.

She related to me that the feedback she has gotten thus far was “You were great! You didn’t do anything wrong in the interview.” Oof. Not only is this not true, it is also not helpful. Obviously something is wrong if she has been unemployed this long. And, how will she ever get better as a candidate if no one is taking the time to help her get better?

Feedback is hard to hear. I hate feedback. I hate hearing it. I hate giving it. But, it is a skill that I am learning and constantly trying to work on. Because, in my career I have been very fortunate to have received direct, honest, specific, and constructive feedback from people whom I know and trust. I also understand how hard it is to give feedback. So, when I get it, I try really hard to listen because I appreciate the time and energy that went into that conversation. I have also seen the impact that feedback has had on my own staffs.

In student affairs, we are quick to praise our colleagues and supervisees. We tweet it, we nominate them for awards, we serve as references. But, when it comes to the tough, icky, uncomfortable stuff, we speak in generalities and niceties that, in the end, mean very little. If all you are ever told is that “it wasn’t you” then how will you ever grow, learn, change, or get better?

Feedback makes us all better. It makes us more self-aware. It makes us slow down. It is helpful to others’ growth and development. It clears the air. It improves communication between individuals and across teams.

Feedback is hard. But the hard stuff is what matters most. That’s where the work really is.

I hope this woman will take me up on my offer to look at her application materials and do a mock interview. If she doesn’t meet with me, I hope she meets with someone who will take the time to genuinely help her, not sweep the feedback under the rug.