Passion is a luxury

I had passion. I was 25 years old, Master’s Degree in hand and a year of full-time service with AmeriCorps under my belt. I was a faithful, faith-filled, world-changing, ass-kicker.

And then I grew up.

Then my kid got sick. Then my life changed course. Then I lied to myself and told myself to keep going even though I knew it felt wrong. It still feels wrong- like wearing shoes that are too tight.

Part of our student affairs messaging has been that “how you do stuff matters” and I bought that hook, line, sinker. I built my career and my education on it. But the last six years have shown me that that message is only the message. It doesn’t translate to practice.

I was passionate until I got burned. Until I was betrayed by friends in multiple job searches.Until I have seen colleagues with questionable moral compasses and inappropriate office etiquette get promoted. Until I called HR and aired serious concerns about fellow “professionals'” behavior, only to be told that “it wasn’t illegal.”

It takes courage to stay in environments where you’re not passionate. I do not say that to be a martyr. But to give people S P A C E to breathe. To give myself room. I am drowning. I am bitter with words that I have choked back for years for fear of…what? Being labeled negative? Too late. For being labeled aggressive? Also too late. For fear of not getting hired, or branded right, or or or or? What?

I am so tired of hiding. Of not sharing my personal truth for fear of haters and trolls. The fact that I feel this fear, and have felt this fear for years, speaks volumes about how we treat whistle-blowers and dissenting voices in our profession. I know I am not alone. I have Twitter DMs and email streams from my fellow passion-naysayers. Yet, so few of us take the time to write about the shadows we all experience.

At 40 years old, with two small children, multiple mortgages, car payments, orthodontics, and a college fund, passion is a luxury I cannot afford. The flip side of the passion coin is obligation. I have obligations that I have chosen. As a grown-up, I cannot and I will not toss them aside to pursue my passions. My passions are: chocolate, wine, writing, reading, reading, napping, and binge-watching old school episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Last time I checked that was not a full-time job with health and retirement benefits. If you find such a position, please share my LinkedIn profile with the committee. Because, my LI is up to date and properly branded 😉

Passion is a bullshit bill of goods that we all got sold in grad school to make up for crappy pay and long hours. I have friends who are teachers, pharmacists, state employees, and accountants. The only people talking about passion are the teachers and I think part of that is because they get snow days and summers off.

Work can be work.  Passion is a luxury that many people can’t afford. Passion also reeks of privilege, but that’s another post. So, let’s practice what we preach and start doing for each other what we profess to do for students. Let’s back-off the passion rhetoric and let people B E. Let people choose what works for them.

My hands are shaking and there is a voice in my head screaming at me not to hit publish. I am feeling shame and vulnerability right now. I am choosing to live into it and share my story. Brene Brown says that writing messages doesn’t give the message power, it gives you power.

I hope she’s right. Here we go…..

 

Oh to be mid-level…and broke.

Thank you to @SylvesterGaskin for this contribution to the #SAMid series. “Moving on up” seems to always be an influence on mid-career and mid-level pros. But, finances and family are factors, too. Is the grass always greener?


As a young child, my father told me that if I worked hard and applied myself, then I would get a job that would pay me a lot of money. As a sergeant in the US Air Force, he was one to know about working hard yet not making a ton of cash. For all the work he did, it was the officers who raked in the large paychecks. As, a kid, I always remembered driving past the officers housing, with the large lawns and big patios, and comparing it to our sparse enlisted housing and thinking it wasn’t fair at all.

Once I got my first student affairs job, I was making the most money I had ever seen. Granted I was fresh out of grad school and living on a tiny monthly stipend, but I could afford actual groceries, pay for my health benefits, and put gas in my car when it needed it, not when I got paid. I could even (GASP!) take a vacation to somewhere non-exotic! And, I was told that if I applied myself and worked hard, especially if I got a Doctorate degree, in a few years I’d make a lot of money. Hell, even moving up to a mid-level position would pay more! I’ve been a mid-level professional for 3 years (after 2 years in an entry-level position and 4 years working in the K-12 sector), and I’m still waiting for that payday. I’m a doctoral student (done with coursework and typing the dissertation) and I’m hoping that once that’s done, that mystical payday will show up and I can live more comfortably than how I do now and not have so many worries about taking care of my family.

However, I have to be realistic and understand that our field is not engineering, law, or some other discipline where the pay is greater and the workload is heavy. I’ve overheard many a professional say that they didn’t get into student affairs “for the money,” and the same could be said for me. I truly enjoy my work and wouldn’t change it for the world. However, I think that our institutions use that to their advantage: since they know we are so dedicated to our work and some of us would do it for free, then there is no impetus to pay student affairs professionals comparative to their academic peers. We are, to a fault, selfless about our work and want the best for our students, so we may be willing to sacrifice our financial gain so students can have a positive experience, thinking our salary savings go directly into student services and programs. Only once we get to VP style levels will the pay significantly increase.

Because of this, decisions to either make a lateral move or advance have to factor in compensation packages. It’s no longer about the title or the type of work that needs to be done, but more about “will I be able to earn a decent wage that honestly reflects the amount of work I will do?” And each person will need to think about their own individual circumstances. For example, I’m locked into a specific geographical location that has plenty of institutions but positions are highly competitive once they come open. In addition, I am looking at purchasing my first house, so the next professional move has to ensure I can make the mortgage payment. There is a good amount of pressure to make the “right” move, both financially and professionally, and that brings on new levels of anxiety and strategy. There’s the concern that the next move would be great for my pocketbook but terrible for my overall career, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who has these thoughts in this stage of life. I certainly didn’t have this worry as a new professional.

Being a mid-level professional has encompassed many factors that I didn’t need to think about when I was a new professional, including finances and family matters. It provides a lot of stress and some reflecting about why I got into this business.

For all the pessimism I may have about compensation, I still have a little faith that if I keep working hard and moving forward, that payday may come true, just like Dad told me.

Sylvester Gaskin

Sylvester is the Assistant Director of New Student Programs at Towson University in Maryland. In this role, he is responsible for assessment for all new student programming, student training and development, and long-range planning for future orientation programming. He is also responsible for working with the Towson University Family Network and fostering partnerships with the Freshmen Transfer Program.
Prior to arriving at Towson in June 2014, he served as an outreach coordinator at Iowa State University, where he focused on intentional programming for underrepresented communities and data assessment on retention and graduation rates. He also worked for Bay Area Community Resources, a non-profit organization involved in providing community based services to schools in Oakland, CA, and was responsible for student activities and transfer orientation at Macalester College in St. Paul, MN. He earned his Bachelor of Science degree in Aerospace Engineering and his Master of Education degree at Iowa State University. Sylvester is a professional member of the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators, the Association for Institutional Research, the National Orientation Directors Association, and Kappa Delta Pi-International Honors Society in Education. He is currently a Doctor of Education student (concentration in Higher Education Administration) at Northeastern University at their Seattle, WA graduate campus.

Reflections from year one in the middle

I hope you had a restful Labor Day weekend! #SAMid is back with this insightful post from Renee P. Dowdy. Leading from the middle looks and feels different than other positions. Thank you, Renee for sharing your story!

On August 19th, 2015 I marked year one in my first mid-level role as the Assistant Director of Student Staffing and Training at Marquette University. I returned to residence life from a role in association management and was itching to be back in the day-to-day problem solving, planning, and challenges that I love about this functional area. One of my greatest joys in the job is the work of developing and coaching staff. As I sat in RA training, watching months of planning flash before me, some of my most important lessons stood out.

When leading from the middle, one of your most important jobs is to give context. Tough decisions are made and entry level professionals develop their own perception and lessons from these observations. My role as a supervisor is to help provide a deeper understanding of the how and why behind these moments. It isn’t just about managing the now, but helping to prepare others for the hard decisions and stakes they may face later in their career. I want to protect our staff from unnecessary worries, but I also want them to be prepared for the very real challenges that are part of the job.

In that vein, what I say and do carries different weight. When I was a hall director, I had my 17 staff members who looked to me for guidance and support. Now there are 128 RAs, 225 desk receptionists, and 13 RHDs and grads who look at my words, behaviors, and choices as a barometer for professionalism. This may seem obvious, but the realization that I could have greater and broader influence at first overwhelmed me. I didn’t want to say anything wrong and the task of avoiding an error or mistake was mentally taxing. Now, further in, I’ve made mistakes and I’ve also maximized my influence. I’ve been able to own and apologize for mistakes, which is also a demonstration of leadership. But I’ve also been able to reach students and staff in some incredible ways. Which leads me to…

Share what you care deeply about. It will be contagious. People want to be surrounded by others who are not only invested but who offer something to get excited about, interested in, or adds new depth to their work. This year, I focused on basics of effective training methods and facilitation skills. I worked on this across all realms of my work and saw in August the impact this focus offered. After an incredible presentation by a team of RHDs, another staff member turned to me and said, “You made this happen.” I never expected that impact to be noticed but it made me so proud. At mid-level you are stretched in many directions. I knew to take our training to the next level, I needed to extend my knowledge and equip staff members with this knowledge and confidence to be an extension of my vision. And it was a success. Allowing others to be a partner in my work and to build their skills while at it was one of my smartest decisions in year one.

Many lessons lay ahead for me, but I can look at year one with pride. I took some chances and exercised great forethought to where I wanted to take our team and who I wanted to be to allow that to happen. Mid-level demands an ongoing focus on the details and the bigger picture. But most important within and between those aspects is the work of developing others. Looking forward to year two and the work and learning that awaits.

Renee P. Dowdy

Renee Piquette Dowdy is the Assistant Director of Student Staffing and Training at Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI. Her work has taken her to Fort Collins, CO as part of Synergos, AMC, the University of Chicago, and Bowling Green State University. She lives in Milwaukee with her husband, Gavin, and Goldendoodle puppy, Maxwell. Outside of work, When not training and selecting staff, Renee enjoys yoga with a recent fitness certification, barre fitness classes, hiking, and home remodeling projects. Find out more from Renee by following her on Twitter (@reneepdowdy) or on her blog, www.reneepdowdy.com