career coaching

Mantra #3: Go Where You’re Respected

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Do you love yourself enough to go where you’re celebrated and not just tolerated? πŸ’œ

As a small business owner an N of 1, being sick can be terrifying. Not only do you not feel well physically, but you worry about your business. It feels as if there are literal dollars flowing down the drain.

Yet, I know (in my old age πŸ™‚ that resting is important and really, the only way to get better fast.

When I am sick, I have to cancel appointments, calling or texting clients at odd hours to apologize and change plans, hopefully giving them enough notice not to cause too much disruption.

Fortunately, a𝙑𝙑 of my clients have been gracious and understanding. Some of them aren’t even clients yet! They have sent me quick emails wishing me quick recovery and have already rescheduled. Thank you!

This is a far cry from my last job where I was scolded for not calling in sick before 8am every day. No one called or emailed me to see how I was doing. And when I was finally well enough to return, I was met with a “letter in my file” for violating a (non-existent) “attendance policy.”πŸ™„

I am finally in a professional place where I am loved and celebrated. It took years to build my business and I’m grateful for it every day. I truly love what I do and I’m honored to work with amazing people.

I was barely tolerated in my last job.

I stayed for all kinds of reasons. Most of them bad. And all of them false, because they were rooted in fear, not love.

You are allowed to be loved- at home, with family and friends, in school, and yes, at work.

If you aren’t. I’m so sorry. I know how painful that is. It makes you doubt yourself. It makes you think you’re going crazy.

You’re not crazy and you’re not wrong.

You’re allowed to be celebrated.

You’re allowed to want more.

You’re allowed to love yourself.

Trust yourself

50 Mantras for Turning 50

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2025 is a big year for me and my business, Sheldrake Consulting, LLC.

I turned 50 in April. πŸŽ‚

And Sheldrake was TEN in February. πŸŽ‰

I’ve spent many hours pondering (worrying) about whether to share that or not.

As many women know, ageism and sexism are alive and well.

But, it would be pretty darn hypocritical of me to coach clients on “being themselves,” and then not doing it myself.

My word for 2025 is elevate. One of the ways I’m trying to elevate my business, myself, and others, is to create more and consume less.

In the spirit of that, I’m challenging myself to share “50 mantras for Turning 50” throughout this calendar year.

So, here we go!

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚 #𝟏: 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 π˜πŽπ”π‘π’π„π‹π…

The biggest regrets I have, and the biggest mistakes I made, were when I didn’t trust myself.

When I gave too much power to others’ voices and not enough power to my own.

I have a “trust yourself” sticker on my laptop and intentionally put it there so I see it every day.

πŸ’œIt’s a reminder that I DO know what the heck I’m doing. (And so do you!)
πŸ’œThat, I’ve done hard things before and I can do them again.
πŸ’œTo trust my gut and not ignore red flags.
πŸ’œTo take risks and bet on myself.

Trusting ourselves is scary and takes practice. We’re constantly barraged by messages telling us that we shouldn’t trust ourselves.

I don’t always get it right. I stumble often.

But, I’m committed to trying and learning.

And honestly, at almost 50, I’m also trying to have more fun (hence the F-bo** that sits on my laptop, too, courtesy of my friend’s daughter).

What about π˜πŽπ”?

What’s a mantra that’s helping you right now?

(You don’t have to share your age. Unless you want to!)

Say Yes. Think After.

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(I posted this on LinkedIn on 4/5/2017.)

My son is a cancer survivor. Stay with me, this post is not about that. He was diagnosed with stage four cancer at age three. He beat the odds stacked against him and is now 11. I have been writing our memoir about that time for seven years. That’s not a typo. Years. There are all sorts of reasons and excuses for this, but if I’m truly honest with myself, the main reason is that… I stopped saying yes to myself.

I’ve been pretty unhappy in one area of my life. I allowed that stagnation to seep into every other aspect of who I am. I didn’t even know it was happening. I stopped listening to music in my car. I never took my full lunch hour, choosing instead to watch stupid TV while sitting at my desk. I gained weight. I gossiped with and about others (and I know they gossiped about me; if someone does it with you, they will do it about you). I was not creating.

A few weeks ago, in a moment of desperation (or clarity?), I signed up to participate in a “Pitchapalooza” event with The Book Doctors. I didn’t think I would get picked to pitch and honestly, I forgot I submitted my name. But, in that moment, I said yes. I would figure out the how later.

A few days before the event, I got an email outlining next steps. “Whoa boy, I guess I am doing this!” The pitch itself was one minute. Whhhhaaaat? One minute to summarize the most traumatic event of my life? I worked furiously. I wrote. I edited. I wrote and edited even more. I went inside and created. I wrote from the heart and it showed in my pitch. I didn’t think. I didn’t over-think. I walked on stage and told.

Here’s my Dear Boys pitch. (Please note that the video was captured by a dear friend of mine whom I recruited one hour before the event. He’s not a professional and my phone is a four year old Android, so be kind, thanks!)

The best things have come to me when I stopped thinking, or really, stopped doubting myself, and said yes. I said yes to the opportunity to stand in front of two incredibly helpful, thoughtful, and successful writers and tell our story. Then, I got three minutes of feedback from them. What a gift!

I learned two important lessons last week. 1: There is indeed an audience and a need for my book and I have the writing chops to make it happen. I will make it happen.

And more important, 2: Start saying yes. I need to think less and do more. Say yes to whatever creative outlet makes me feel alive. For me, those outlets are career coaching, writing, and obsessively redecorating the mantel in my family room. I’ve done a lot more of all three since the event last week. It was less than a week ago. I have made more progress on my memoir than I had in the last three months! Creativity fuels creativity. It is not a well that will dry out, it actually feeds itself.

Say yes first. Think after. Maybe. Say yes to yourself. I’d love to hear where your “yes” takes you!

P.S.- I also recently finished Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes, so I have no doubt that her advice was whispering to me when I signed up. I recommend her book to anyone feeling stuck and looking to make a leap.

#WisdomWednesday #amwriting #memoir #careercoaching #resumewriter