50Mantras

Mantra #7: Own Your Accomplishments

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“What would 2014 you think of you now?”

This is the question that Amy Poehler recently asked Quinta Brunson on Amy’s podcast, “Good Hang with Amy Poehler.”

Brunson’s answer is a powerful lesson in owning our accomplishments with confidence and not demuring to others’ expectations that we stay small.

She said:
“I think 2014 me would be like, ‘Exactly. Period.’ Because I was a very determined, knew-where-I-was-going girl. I do not like to do that thing where people pretend like, ‘I had no idea this could happen to me!’ Like, no. I made every single move in my life so this could happen to me.”

So, with a nod to Quinta, this is Mantra #7 in my 50 Mantras series:

“𝙊𝙬𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨. 𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙞𝙯𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢.”

I highly recommend that you watch the whole interview, and especially this clip. Quinta is so matter-of-fact in her answer, there’s no doubt that it’s true.

You 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 that she worked for everything she has achieved. And, you are rooting for her because she’s not boastful or gross about it.

When times are hard- like now- it’s easy to feel needy. Like everyone else is in on a secret and you’re not.

But what if you flipped your approach and brought Quinta-level confidence to your life?

You didn’t get to where you are by accident. You worked for it.

You did it before and you can do it again.

You’re not looking for a hand-out or an exception. You’re looking for an opportunity.

Share your accomplishments clearly and without apology. See what happens.

Mantra #5: There’s Nothing New Under the Sun

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Growing up, my mom was always saying, “There’s nothing new under the sun.”

I have visceral memories of being annoyed by that. I can feel my eyes rolling even now.

What does that even mean?

My 17-year old son hates it when I ask questions. I’m just trying to get information, I say. He experiences them as an inquisition. It’s an ongoing battle.

Part of turning 50 has involved nesting and purging. I don’t want the boys to have mountains of my old sh** to sort through some day.

In that process, I found one of my childhood journals. It’s totally 80s. The Sanrio characters, “Little Twin Stars” are on the front and the pages are filled with my (completely justified) ramblings, jumping from 1984 to 1988.

Lo and behold, at the end of one of my entries, teen Monica wrote:

“When I came home from the movies, my mom kept asking me all these stupid questions. I can’t stand it when she does that!!!”

Turns out she was right.

There’s nothing new under the sun.

Teenagers hate questions.

𝙒𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙥𝙨!

Sorry, Mom.

And sorry, kid!

Mantra #3: Go Where You’re Respected

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Do you love yourself enough to go where you’re celebrated and not just tolerated? 💜

As a small business owner an N of 1, being sick can be terrifying. Not only do you not feel well physically, but you worry about your business. It feels as if there are literal dollars flowing down the drain.

Yet, I know (in my old age 🙂 that resting is important and really, the only way to get better fast.

When I am sick, I have to cancel appointments, calling or texting clients at odd hours to apologize and change plans, hopefully giving them enough notice not to cause too much disruption.

Fortunately, a𝙡𝙡 of my clients have been gracious and understanding. Some of them aren’t even clients yet! They have sent me quick emails wishing me quick recovery and have already rescheduled. Thank you!

This is a far cry from my last job where I was scolded for not calling in sick before 8am every day. No one called or emailed me to see how I was doing. And when I was finally well enough to return, I was met with a “letter in my file” for violating a (non-existent) “attendance policy.”🙄

I am finally in a professional place where I am loved and celebrated. It took years to build my business and I’m grateful for it every day. I truly love what I do and I’m honored to work with amazing people.

I was barely tolerated in my last job.

I stayed for all kinds of reasons. Most of them bad. And all of them false, because they were rooted in fear, not love.

You are allowed to be loved- at home, with family and friends, in school, and yes, at work.

If you aren’t. I’m so sorry. I know how painful that is. It makes you doubt yourself. It makes you think you’re going crazy.

You’re not crazy and you’re not wrong.

You’re allowed to be celebrated.

You’re allowed to want more.

You’re allowed to love yourself.