The 11th and 12th things I will never do

11. I will never say to another momcologist, grieving parent, or friend, “Well, at least (insert name of loved one here) is no longer suffering. S/he is in a better place.” Again, these words are patronizing and insulting to the person hearing them. Not everyone believes in an afterlife where a person’s physical and spiritual selves are reunited and restored. Not everyone believes in God or Heaven. A statement like this assumes that the person you are speaking with believes what you believe and that they might find some comfort in these words. Maybe. But probably not. It is my experience that people who say such things do not know what else to say, or have no personal experience from which to speak.

12. I will never use this forum (or Facebook or Twitter) to complain about my children. It makes me sad when I see these posts (too often, if you ask me). If you have time to post on Facebook about your child’s behavior, then you have time to get off Facebook and address it. Children are a blessing to be cherished. Children are the greatest gift and legacy that we can leave on this world. I want my children to look back on my words and be proud and maybe even a little inspired (if I am lucky). All that I do and say should lift them up, not tear them down.

One thought on “The 11th and 12th things I will never do

  1. Thanks for 11 as a grieving mother who does believe in heaven it is still not a comforting statement. Of course I’m glad she no longer suffers from that horrible tumor but it doesn’t fill the hole in my heart!! 12 is also a good reminder For someone like myself who can be pretty sarcastic !


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